According to a web source, that is how many singles Stefani Germanotta has sold since her voice began appearing on CDs. I know, that is a lot of sales, especially since you probably have no idea who that is. You might be more familiar with the equivalent title, Lady Gaga.
Yesterday, I was walking down the hall with a friend, who was humming something. He looked over at me, expecting me to guess the song. I said I had no idea; Pssshhht! It’s Lady Gaga. I said, alright? Ho was I supposed to know? I could not even pick her out of a lineup. I have never heard one of her songs, and I have no idea what she looks like. That amazed my friend. The discussion rounded out with me arguing that Gaga is just a “flavor of the month,” that she is just more of the same and my friend should check back with me in 10 years, concerning her popularity. My friend said she will be popular ten years from now, and although I do not agree, I started to compare her to the classic, timeless musicians. I had recently read startling statistic, and appropriately, I announced that in 2009, something like 940,000 copies of Dark Side of the Moon were sold; the album debuted in 1973. Let’s see if Gaga’s The Fame Monster almost goes Platinum in 2047. I am not picking on Gaga, exclusively, this is about the direction that genre of music and its popularity are heading. I will just use her as the model for my inquiry and analysis. Let’s take the components of her music and Gaga, herself, and try to discover what makes her so appealing to so many people around the world. In this current era of pop music being extremely popular, let’s first look at the music. After my discussion with my friend yesterday, I went home that night and “youtubed” 5 or 6 of Gaga’s songs. By the way, typing “L” in the search box already leads the software to think you want to type “Lady Gaga.” Somewhat wittingly, I think I was avoiding her music, sort of like how I refuse to see Napoleon Dynamite, but without as much passion. So, I listened, and I relistened, and I relistened. Of the songs I heard, Bad Romance was catchy, I will admit. Most, if not all of the song had an appealing sound. I felt similar about the chorus of Paparazzi, however, I was not much into the rest of the song. Although I found one of the songs tolerable, to listen to, ground-breakingly unique, it was not. There was nothing new about the sound, the tempo, the faux instruments. So, scratching the music off the list, I move to lyrics.
I want your ugly
I want your disease
I want your everything
As long as it’s free
I want your love
Love love love
I want your love
I want you drama
The touch of your hand
I want your leather studded kiss in the sand
I want your love
Love love love
I want your love
You know that I want you
And you know that I need you
I want it bad
A bad romance
That is the first verse of Bad Romance. Now when I listened to it, I kinda thought, actually very little, of the lyrics. But I have a history of not being able to understand all the words in a song. After reading through the printed lyrics, though, I was actually surprised that I am even more disappointed in them. Aside from addressing a fairly juvenile topic, in an even more immature and uncreative way, they do not even convey a message or an emotion that might appeal to the listener. And I could say this about probably any rap song, but if you are going to write incoherently, you could at least must a complete, rather than, an approximate rhyme, as in the ABCBDDD rhyme scheme of the first stanza. I have only ready the lyrics from this song, and perhaps all of the others are as enlightening as Dylan, but I doubt it. So, it cannot be the lyrics that is reeling in the equivalent of roughly 1 out of 8 Americans. Hmmm, could it be the instrumental innovation and proficiency? Wait a minute, she does not play any instruments. That was simple. I have not seen her live performances, but her music videos, while visually spectacular, did not show off much Fred Astaire type moves; I did notice some movements that were reminiscent of Tai-Bo.
Alright. I have covered the music-related components. In a world with all this free porn available, I do not understand why superficial, physical appeal is so important in music; Cash was not a handsome fellow. Nevertheless, I will look into it because maybe Gaga is doing something new with appearances. And……..Done! After examining the google images and her in her music videos, I can see nothing, physically, that sets her apart from a good number of the women in my Chemistry class, except most do not wear nearly as much makeup, they are in better physical shape, and they are actually more attractive, in my extremely biased opinion. The only thing I can see that would separate Gaga out from the rest of the pop-stars is that despite the dues, the million dollar, skimpy costumes, the various body part accentuators, like eye enhancements, masks, shadows, shoes, etc., she still does not look that great. It is amazing that despite unfathomable effort to look flawless and drive the “fellas” crazy and make the women jealous, she is succeeding marginally, at best. At least the fake version of Destiny’s Child, Aguilera and Stefani, Gwen that is, looks smokin’ hot After never having seen her and finally seeing her, at her supposed, “best,” I was surprised and not impressed. If you want to be in the spotlight and valued mostly for physical attributes, I, a cook am going to treat you like a piece of meat. Personally, I would either send it back or expect a discount for that cut.
M and M must be responsible for her utter popularity: money and mob-mentality. Gaga has got the bucks, no doubt about that. Someone who donates half a million in concert/merchandise collections to Haiti, at 23 mind you, is either really dumb, which I am not ruling out at this point, or she is sitting on an amount that would dwarf the former. There is something sex about money, and the person it’s attached to. I do not know what it is but if DaVito is gettin’ women, and God knows I love him and his acting talent to death, my theory is intact. Of course DaVito does have personality, as well. The mob-mentality simply, among other things, stems from the money thing. See, at our core, that is the core of a capitalist American, we crave money and everything that comes with it. That leads to popularity, which leads to more popularity, and strangely that never leads to the regression mob-mentality, caused by a minority realizing that what everyone is pining for is actually really stupid.
There is some anger in my tone because these people are not entitled to this much (fill in the blank), at least not as long as those that do not set young kids up for childhood depression, from inadequate self-image, are living modest live because all of the money is tied up in what is actually making the world a worse place to live. I could name a thousand different job positions, including hundreds of millions of people, that deserve fame, fortune, whatever, more than these fish-oil-covered plastic dolls. What beneficial differences are Gaga and the like making? None. They are simply building up false hope in the young, wasting valuable radio waves, and polluting and diluting a once, precious and sacred industry, known as music.
FYI: If you want to compare yourself to these celebrities, whether they act, sing, dance, play, or fuck for a living, compare yourself to the authentic version of these posers; you will be pleasantly surprised to realize that you outscore them in most categories and at least tie them in the remaining ones. They are not better than any of us. They are still human, most of which are sub-par. They drink heavily, they use drugs, they have numerous, trashy, brief relationships, they have only the values ascribed to them in order to maintain their fame, they contribute nothing beneficial to society, they only take, never give, they have accomplished nothing worthy of your praise, and they know far less and have a much narrower perspective on life than the average, hard-working individual has. They are mere prostitutes, being paraded around by their pimps, the record companies.
Take away their fame, their money, their makeup and their clothes, and they would have a hard time competing for a street corner. Prove me wrong; nothing would make me happier. For if Gaga starts writing lyrics that transcend the times like the greats from the past, that will only expand the scope of music I get to listen to.
So Gaga, fellow pop stars, this is a call to action. Keep it “poppy,” but separate yourselves, make music, instead of just noises, and write coherent lyrics that make the listener think and reflect, rather than scratch his or her head, wondering if what he or she just heard was music.
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